Honestly...

So its a funny thing being on your own. I haven't spent this much time away from my family and I have never been this single, ever. I'll be honest, I'm scared shitless. Though deciding to be alone was meant for greater purposes, my go-to solutions aren't helping in filling that void.

• Throwing myself into MORE work isn't helping me, only draining me more emotionally.
• Meeting people hasn't been very appealing when I realize I only want to be friends.
• Running a muck around town and partying my brain away is only a temporary happiness &high.
• Giving my heart away isn't the best idea, when it's still broken.

So I guess it's time for some serious soul-searchin. I'm flyin solo for now, not looking, just me, myself and I. I need to be a strong person for myself and no one else. I need to adapt and be more resilient because yes, Cammille, you have to deal with your problems on your own now. I need to be alone and figure out myself first before I can give of myself to anyone. I don't want to fill voids or drag anyone into my cluttered mind and heart. They'll only be disappointed that I was NOTHING they expected.

What I could really use right now is home. I miss my family and friends, because they remind me of who I am when I'm not sure of who I am out here. I know the Lord wants me to be patient though. I know the Lord is working in my favor even if I don't see it right now. I just need to TRUST and just open my heart to this feeling that I have. I know only good must come of this...HOWEVER long it may take.

Pray for me friends :)
-Cammille