Red Light District

Ra Sushi Downtown SD. Bj's Birthday. These dudes & the guy behind the lens are some of my favorite folks.
Thankful to have gotten closer to them in 2010.

Happy Birthday to my big sis MARY SABINO. 

I've known you for about 3 years now and I truly believe God put you in my life to serve as the big sister I never had. You are a role model, mentor, therapist, and other half to the comedy show that is our lives. I wouldn't have gotten to where I am today without you and your constant support of me. I truly am so lucky to have you as my big sis and one of my best friends. Have an amazing birthday filled with joy and laughter because a strong woman like you deserves it all. I am so excited for the future and the many life experiences we'll go through together. I'm certain our kids will be raised together, you'll be in my wedding, and I'll help you move into your first house. Love you so much!!! Till death do us part.

<3

On friends.

It's amazing how the universe works out just the way it is supposed to and how God puts people in your life for very specific reasons. Sometimes, they are reasons that are very apparent and sometimes they're for reasons that can't be understood until you've reflected and allowed yourself to understand.

There were people in my life that I thought would be there forever. I never thought I'd ever lose touch with them, but through situations and life taking its course, I eventually did. It broke my heart at the time. It even filled me with anger, resentment, guilt even because I couldn't understand how friendships so pure and joyful could turn sour.

But now I understand.

Without losing those people along the way, I wouldn't cherish the friends I keep close to me as much as I do. I wouldn't value integrity, trust and respect as much as I do now. I wouldn't know how important it is to never forget your friends even if you have a boyfriend. I wouldn't know that if people truly wanted to be in your life, they'd find a way to do it. I wouldn't know that some people do take your kindness for weakness and friendships aren't as mutual as you'd like them to be.

There are also people I thought were meant to be acquaintances. People I wrongly assumed wouldn't be able to vibe with me, are now some of the people I yearn to be with the most. The older you get, the more you realize what matters, who is authentic, who really cares about your well-being and you start observing their true character and values that people have.

Over the past couple of months, I've been really really blessed to have connected and/or strengthened my relationships with a lot of people whom I had grown distant with, and even better... realized I was  meant to have in my life. I value true friendship, alot. I value friendships that aren't self-centered and only at the convenience of one person. I won't lose sleep over situations like that anymore, because it was never my loss to begin with. It's just the way the world works and eventually, if people come around again, then that's how it was meant to happen.

So for now, I'm just really grateful for people I can trust, people whom I can consider family, people who were meant to be in my life to continue to teach me and be an example to me of people I aspire to be like. I am learning DAILY and that is awesome.

girlfriends are the best cure for life troubles.

LIVE YOUR LIFE.
LIVE YOUR LIFE.
LIVE YOUR LIFE.

PHOTOS COURTESY OF ANGEL

SUMMER LOVE: SD in LA.

 

These people & these nights remind me that life is not something to simple 'endure'
but to enjoy to it's fullest.

Not spent waiting to see what the next thing you're going to fight about is.

Or crying over how he doesn't treat you well enough.

Or talking shit about someone you don't care about.

There's more to life & they never fail to remind me the goodness of it all.
Surround yourself with the good company you know you deserve.

Girlfriends

I love my girlfriends.
Throwback photo, but I'm so blessed to have these women in my life!!

Imperfections.

"i've read that photographers try to only shoot perfect flowers,

and even are recommended to Remove pedals that show any form of imperfection..

i think that's disgusting, Especially Altering something so natural.

its the same as Woman to me, but that's whole different story.

Cuz Regardless of what it been through, the flower is Still Standing.

but i like shooting flowers with torn, half eaten pedals.

i feel that Imperfections are a Far Greater source of aesthetic beauty than

something forged."

-theBearNecesCitys

Someone whose ideas I mos def. always feel.

read his blog!

SUMMER LOVE: San Diego Fair

This past weekend I went home to San Diego to celebrate Dez's Birthday at Onyx/Thin and Father's Day on Sunday. In between I got a chance to hit up the SD Fair with Jon, Cart and Kim. Let me just say, that a little alcohol, some fair food, carnival games and some really ridiculously funny friends is the best cure for feeling sad. Sometimes the best thing is to just pick yourself up and accept that the LIFE you ENVISIONED is not going to happen while you sit and mope. I am totally an advocate for giving yourself a day or two to cry but it's the tough ones who bounce right back and LOVE THEIR LIVES and better yet, change their attitude and keep it movin.




Oh and Happy Father's Day to my Dad. One of the funniest and hard-working men I know. For anyone who has ever met my Dad, you'll know that he is full of life and laughter to everyone he meets. I am so blessed to have the Dad that I do. He's taught me so much about trusting in the Lord, working hard and NEVER cheating other people, respecting everyone that I come across even when they've done you wrong and always keeping family first. He's the best example of a father to me and one of the two reasons why I push myself so hard to WIN in this life. At the end of the day, when all the awards are given out, all the leadership positions are over, all the graduations are done, the way my parents look at me when they are proud of me, is all I ever need. Everyone also knows that I am the biggest daddy's girl that will NEVER change.

As I've gotten older, my Dad has ALWAYS been right (as much as I used to hate to admit it) and as I got past my tough teen years, I've grown a respect for my Dad that I don't give anyone else except for my Mom. My Dad is one of my best friends and I wouldn't be anywhere near where I am today if it wasn't for all the sacrifices he and my mom made just to make sure my brothers and I were happy. I love you Dad! :)

It's my sincere belief that you choose your own happiness and how you let other people affect that.

In the spirit of COLLEGE ending, I've been thinking about this crazy ride... and indeed, it has been crazy. But crazy always come with lessons and I have learned PLENTY. One of the biggest ones, is that sometimes, holding on to friendships for the sake of anything OTHER than the fact that you mutually & honestly respect, love, support and are happy for one another is destined for disaster.

I've learned that forcing friendships and relationships for the sake of saving face or continuing a facade only sucks the life out of the people willing to participate in that game. Who are we trying to please when we do that anyway? We lose the things we should truly value in our lives when we continue to try and value something that's been long been past repair. It's toxic and toxic friends don't have a place in my life --not in anyone's life. Not that I have been the perfect friend nor am I holier than thou, but there truly isn't anything wrong in deciding for yourself that 'this shit just ain't gonna work out FOR ME' and letting. it. go. No sleep lost there, just a simple decision to take over your own life and DECIDE how happy you want to be.

I used to entertain this game for a long time, for the sake of other people, for the sake of a belief, until I decided for myself 'to hell with saving face', it's a natural thing in life to have differences. Am I going to run around town pretending we're the best of friends? No. Am I still going to respect you at the end of the day & wish you well. Of course. But will I ever let myself make the same mistake twice? Never. So set your own standards for your life and stick to them. Some people's agendas are not yours and they say that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. ...So keep your circle tight & choose great, amazing stand up friends....

who tell you when you're wrong.
who you can not see for months and you can pick up right where you left off.
who you can allow to see you at your worst and who will be happy for you at your best.
who always show up when you need them.
who accept every God-given piece of you.

& don't forget to reciprocate. You can only have great friends if you are one.

So lets keep it movin'. I may have lost some friends along the way & some people may not feel about me the way I had hoped at the end of the day... but I still have the same amazing friends I've had for over 10 years, my family is finally in a happy place, I'm in love, graduation is just around the corner, and there's a huge, fascinating world out there for us to explore, enjoy and live and millions of other people you can build relationships with.

On to the next chapter of my life.

Golden Rules of Friendship are:
1. Be there
2. Apologize when wrong
3. Forgive. Let it go.

-Jill Zarin

Agreed.

As much as I can sit and make the same mistakes over and over again and vow time and time again never to make them again... it's foolish of me to even think that I'll be perfect enough never to make them ever again in this life. It's all in the learning process of life and I don't beat myself up, nor should anybody else, for not being who they want to be yet. I know enough that this continual growth and cycle of realizations and epiphanies about life are going to keep happening until the very day that I die.

You just have to be open to the changes and motions of life. Appreciate it all for what is worth and sometimes you have to be open to what God or whoever your higher being is and what they're trying to show you.

Yes, sometimes you have to be with all the wrong people to know what you want. Yes, you have to fall flat on your face to know what it feels like to get back up again and work harder. Yes, you are going to make horrible financial decisions but you know God provides when you truly need it. Yes, it's okay to go back, just as long as you know what you are willing to give and take. Yes, everyone in your life is meant to be there to teach you something.. for whatever reason.

It's all about growth at the end of the day. I have three girlfriends out here who I started college with and are about to finish with and in thinking about our long overdue dinner tonight, I celebrate our growth as young women growing up in this city together. We've been through everything in our own ways, heartbreaks with our first loves, new loves, financial lows and triumphs, leasing our own apartments, working towards our degrees and following our dreams, letting go of bad habits, everything it seems like. I am so happy that I have such strong, intelligent sisters whom I was blessed enough to go through the past 4 years with. The only constant these 4 years was change but we survived and are bowing out gracefully.

So one of the best things college has taught me is that, depending on how you look it at, change can always be positive if you aren't afraid to let it into your life to change the right things.

I'd rather have a few life long friends I can trust with my life,
than many acquaintances, none of which I truly trust at all.