We got married! from Gala Darling on Vimeo.

This video of Gala Darlings wedding day is sooo much what love feels like, looks like and sounds like to me.

It's caring, sweet + tender.
Full of family and wholesome.
It doesn't have to be traditional if you don't want it to be.
It can be as awesome, loving and as intimate as you want it to, just as long as both of you know it.
It's your perfect match...the one who makes you feel like you're amazing and lets everyone know it too with just the look on your face.
Love is a safe haven.
A world away from everything else.
It isn't demanding, doesn't have crazy expectations, doesn't judge.
Love is everything.

I will always always believe in love.
No matter what I knooooooooow there is a love that exists just the way I described it.
I will wait for as long as I have to to know it.

And so it begins...

Alot of changes in my life lately. Work, family, friends are going great, love...not so much. But today, I basked in my solitude and did what.ever I wanted to do, and it was exactly how I remembered it... peaceful, tranquil, untroubled. My mind finally felt at rest, without the noise.

I didn't have to answer to anyone. I roamed around and did whatever my fragile heart felt like doing.

• I enjoyed the company of one of my best friends.. having deep conversations to silly ones over a delicious meal after work
• I fell in love with books all over again and indulged on the one thing my parents taught me was okay to spoil myself silly with
• I had a great day at work and for once, felt focused and ready and not sluggish and heavy-hearted over another argument that didn't disappear in the morning

Of course at the end of the day, it still hurts and it will probably hurt for a while but I had a talk with my Dad recently and he reminded me of my car accident that was 3 years ago. At the time, I was probably at what I consider now, my rock bottom. In the worst physical and emotional pain that I sincerely felt I would never get over. Now I look back on it, perfectly fine with only scars to remind me of my experience, like it was simply a moment in time. When I look back at the time that I thought I would never be able to put behind me, I did and I'm okay....

Whenever I feel down, I think of how i've always made it out okay... no matter what the situation & I'm stronger than any moment where I feel weak because as long as I don't go back to that rock bottom, then nothing can break..This too will be another moment in time that I'll look back on and give a huge sigh of relief that its passed.

So life goes on.. as it always has. My heart + soul are open for the next blessing and adventure that life has in store.

YES. YES. YES.

Sometimes I get mad that you don't always express how you feel about me, then I feel silly because unlike what I've been with before, you show me through your actions instead of give me false hope and cheap talk.

Blessed.

I love hindsight

Like that moment after time has passed and you start to notice all the ways you're maturing and growing. Of course you never notice while it's happening, but when you don't fall for the stupid things you used to or you see yourself moving on from something you never thought you would, it's a really really good feeling. There's that saying, when you know better, you do better and I couldn't be any more grateful for the wisdom that experience gives you. 

For example, relationships have always been a roller coaster for me. Unpredictable, painful at times, and a lot of lessons. I was caught in an unhealthy relationship that literally sucked the life out of me... but I didn't know any better. But now I'm sitting happily in a new relationship and couldn't be any happier with what I know now about life.

So what do I know for sure?

- I know that the best relationships happen when both people consistently strive to better themselves and unconsciously influence the other to do the same for themselves.  It's never a losing game when you meet half way.
- Life is a lot of how you perceive it. Better to see it and understand it in the best way for your self than have other people try to influence you with how things should be. Be comfortable in your own, as long as its healthy, it's all good.
- You really are better off with what have now than what you left behind. There really are reasons why people are in your past. God works in wonderful ways and I trust in that. Only move forward, never backward.
- Sometimes the people you least expect to be with are the best ones.
- If all else fails, laugh. Love is enough for most things.
- Your past isn't every reason why things don't work, and when things don't work out, it doesn't mean you throw in the towel. Relationships take effort, communication and understanding.

Some of these things may be obvious, but again, hindsight is a beautiful thing. Now that I know better, I can do better.

When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.

The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits - islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.

- excerpted from The Gift from the Sea, by Anne Morrow Lindbergh
(via. whitehottruth)


flow.

your love is mine.

 

such a lovely feeling.

Mama said..

I had a great talk con mi mama last night and there's nothing like that advice your mama can give you when it comes to love & relationships. If there's anything she's always reminded me throughout the years, its to never forget about myself. Yes, a relationship takes effort & sacrifice on both parts, but you always want a piece of yourself that you can call your own, protect and know will never leave you. For me, I see two things that fall under that, the love you have for yourself & your career. (Besides your Faith of course)

I admire women who have their own, wait till they've got their life and then invite a man to share in that (and vice versa). I don't hate on anyone that's done it otherwise, but that's just the ideal thing I'd want to happen in my life. I can't be with a man who doesn't have his own going on. I can't be with anyone who feels threatened by the fact that I really really want to be successful and will work till my wheels fall off to make sure mi padres don't have to worry another day in their life.  Not to say that I won't entertain a relationship, but my mom gave me the best reminder last night....that whatever I choose, focus on whats important right now (& that's my career).

& when I talk about SELF-LOVE, I also mean self-respect. The way that you share yourself is the way people will want to treat you. All of that comes from the way that you feel about yourself on the inside. There's that part of me inside that, regardless of what happens to me in my relationships, I can trust and rely on myself and know that I am capable & strong.

To end our conversation, my mom reminded me.. You have to be a bitch sometimes. (now you know why I am the way I am hah!) & the way I take it...You don't have to be rude, disrespectful, or wishing others ill, but YOU DO have to have a backbone. People are gonna play the game on you.. in the workplace, in relationships, in LIFE in general. Be wise about it. Speak your mind when necessary and don't get played.

Beyonce - Hello

i love to see you walk into the room

body shining lightin’ up the place

& when you talk, everybody stop

‘cause i know you know just what you sayin’

the way that you protect your friends

baby i respect you for that

& when you grow you’ll take everyone you love along

i love that shit

don’t fly me away

don’t need to buy a diamond key to unlock my heart

you shelter my soul, you’re my fire when i’m cold

i want you to know

you had me at hello

hello, hello

you had me at hello

hello, hello

it was many years ago

baby when you stole my cool

‘cause you had me at hello

hello, hello

i get so excited when you travel with me

baby while i’m on my grind

& never will i ever let my hustle

come between me & my family time and

you keep me humble, out of this hype

‘cause you know there’s more to life

& if i need ya, you will be here

you will make the sacrifice

don’t fly me away

don’t need to buy a diamond key to unlock my heart

you shelter my soul, you’re my fire when i’m cold

i want you to know

you had me at hello

hello, hello

you had me at hello

hello, hello

it was many years ago

baby when you stole my cool

you had me at hello

hello, hello

gotta feel you & be near you

you’re the air that i breathe to survive

gotta hold you, wanna show you

that without you my sun doesn’t shine

you don’t have to try so hard for me to love you

boy without you my life just ain’t the same

you don’t have to try so hard for me to love you

 

So happy, so blessed!! :)

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Chivalry is not dead.

via. http://aslightgentleman.tumblr.com/

Hold the door for you no matter what
Walk in front of you down the stairs to catch you if you trip
Walk behind you up the stairs for the same reason
Bring you a glass of water so you don’t have to get out of bed
Turn the heated seats on before I get to your house
Watch your girlie TV shows (and only tease you about them a little bit)
Sleep on the outside of the bed in case monsters are real
Let you have my umbrella/coat/blanket/gloves/hat… weather permitting
Let you control the iPod when we’re driving (I trust in your taste of music)
Casually find out what your favorite flowers are and get them for you
Buy them randomly, not just wait for important dates… because that’s lame
Fix whatever is broken in your apartment (sometimes without you even asking)
Do the same with your car… you can totally help out though
Go shopping with you, and give you my honest opinion (I trust in your taste of clothes too)
Actually and honestly listen to you
Cook, and make sure you know I appreciate it when you cook for me
Always be on your parents’ good side, except when you need me on your side
Catch any bugs and bring them outside so you don’t have to
Order for you at restaurants (after we talked about what you want, of course)
Do all of this because that’s what men should do.

I stumbled upon this on tumblr and even though every female is on this independent tip, "I can do it on my own deal", chivalry NEVER will go out of style for me. Yes, we are smart enough to fix our own furniture, yes we can get ourselves a glass of water, yes we can open our own doors, but I always appreciate a nice gesture especially from man who wants to become a part of my life.  And I'm not talking about the grand, extravagant gestures that most men think they need to do, but the simple, thoughtful almost effortless little things that I feel make up any gentleman.

My Dad is an old-school gentleman, as are many of the men in my family, and if they say that women always marry someone similar to their Dad, then I want a gentleman too.

Blue Valentine

LOVE... such a beautiful thing.

I can't wait to see this movie.

 

:)

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her."
-Maya Angelou



LOVE this quote.

How can people be in relationships when they don't feel like they're in the right place in their lives?

I only ask this because the older that I've gotten, the more difficult it is for me to be completely happy and committed to a relationship when I feel like I'm taking time away from the three things I really should be doing right now:

1) Getting my finances straight.
2) Pursuing my dream career.. or having a job that provides me stability and freedom.
3) Getting right spiitually.

At this point in my life, if I had all three of those, I'd be completely happy pursuing someone and channeling my energy towards having a relationship. I feel like when you, for yourself, feel like you're in a good place in your life, then you can give yourself some leeway to put your energy into something else for a while.

But right now?

I can't imagine how I can be in a relationship without always feeling like, "WTF, am I doing. I should be looking for the perfect JOB instead of the perfect MAN." You feel me? I guess when I was younger, it was all just fun & games, but now, I'm realizing more and more that time is so damn precious and if I'm going to give my time to you, it better be time I want to give instead of time I'm losing getting myself right.

Maybe I'm in a selfish state right now, but I talk often with the men in my life about this kind of stuff and they always tell me to wait and get mySELF together first, for MYSELF. Not for any man, not to impress anybody, but because it's so necessary for my self worth as a woman. I don't want to rely on any man to be anything but be a supplement to the happiness I've already made for myself in my own life.

I understand there are a handful of great men who would want to support me along the way or are in the same exact hustle as me, but the finer details of relationships in general just make for a complicated mense in my mind right now.

LOVE, REGRETS, & ACCEPTANCE.

So I understand that my blog has been an outlet for my man-bashing, which may turn some of my male readers off. In fact, I was just about to post another man-hating quote by the lovely Erykah Badu but opted not to. Maybe it wasn't necessarily man-hating but it definitely would have shit on anyone from my past who thinks that it was about them and whoever they happen to be seeing of the moment. Today, I just don't want to go there anymore.

I ask myself who do we do things like that? Why do we need to put it out there that we're doing fine? For some of us I feel like it's a good reminder to ourselves of how we've overcome and where we are now. It's nice to be reminded of the shit you've been through and give yourself a pat on the back for how far you've come. For others, maybe its a subliminal reminder to ourselves, that even if we aren't over it, at least we know we never want it again. It can even be a combination of both.

I guess today was different because I come to realize that the more and more I allow my energy and even my slightest attention to go back to the past, I am giving up my control of it. I am allowing that situation to control my actions in this present state... and who wants that?! No one. In trying to be more conscious about my decisions, I don't want to be wrapped up in things that have hurt me. Not anymore!

Which brings me to my thoughts on regrets and if I regret any hardship I've put myself through. After thinking a lot about it, I am beginning to truly accept the fact that I don't have any regrets. Pretty bold statement I guess but I've come to believe that at that moment, it was what I truly wanted, and who I was at that moment no longer exists. Therefore, because I'm not that person anymore, any regrets I might have had are left with that person, in the past. Dead.

I'm a stronger believer in constantly evolving and adapting to the world around me and for me to have regrets is to still be holding on to the person that I was... and I'm no longer that person. When I think of my past mistakes and shortcomings that I may want to still change, I remember that at that time, I probably didn't know better and had to have experience that wrong moment to evolve into the person I am right now. We've all had those moments, whether you're blinded by love, young and incredibly naive to the situation...it's all human, it's raw, it's real emotion that you really truly believe in the moment... and that's okay, as long as you choose to grow from it.

So back to relationships... I shouldn't be angry or resentful about what happened. It took two people to fuel that fire and in that moment, I really thought that he was what was right for me. I just didn't know any better and that's okay...because at least I know I've grown from that situation. He was someone I loved a lot, but to move forward, I think peace is so necessary. Peace in your heart about it and acceptance of e v e r y t h i n g. No hard feelings and no regrets. It was exactly what I wanted and I wouldn't be the person I am today without it. We have THEM to thank for THIS.

everything is starting again. everything starts new. every day you can start new. every month. every year. every hour. it’s your choice. it’s your choice to breathe life into everything & it’s your choice to let your devils hold you & haunt you. it’s hard to let go. it’s hard to let yourself grow. sometimes you want your past to stay. for some reason you want to keep awful things in your mind because sometimes they make you realize how strong you are, & sometimes they make you realize that someday you may falter again. it’s a tough balance. to let go or hold on. you loved her once, you don’t want to move on. he hated you once, you don’t want to admit it made you strong. destroy what destroys you. i believe in you. sometimes the hardest part is admitting i believe in me. every second you have a choice. every second that goes by you can never get back. it’s your choice. everything is your choice.  (youareremarkable)

 

I'd rather have ya as my equal.

note to self:

slowly. calmly. carefully.
pace yourself. this is going to go well.

 
-youareremarkable.