NUMB.

This feeling is eating away my insides. So torn between what I want and what I need. What I really need is some brandnewness. Someone, a friend, a moment, an adventure to quench my thirst for life and living beyond my wildest dreams. I need something to stimulate my passions again, something to rejuvenate my senses and bring me back to the times I felt powerful beyond my own imagination. I don't want the same daily routine of mediocre work and unfulfilled nights. I want my soul to be filled to the brim with love, life, passion, art, music and all the other wonderful things we are allowed to feel. Disappointment lurks around every corner of my brain and I never seem to get to where I want. Everyday is another journey, another attempt to be my brightest and my best. I want someone to whisk me away and take me to museums for a day and let my mind relax from everything. I want to listen to live music with people I absolutely love, so I can remember the feeling of having the energy from my two loves fill me up with goodness. I want to walk around downtownSD again with my best friends, after a good fulfilling meal, talking about life and how wonderful it is. I want to eat the best foods, see the best sights, be around the most wonderful people..only because I believe dreams can only be dreams for so long, and then you lose it to the point where your just numb because you want to break free so badly.

How do you keep from losing yourself in your work?
How do you keep from losing yourself in love?
How do you keep from losing yourself in a crowd?
How do you keep from losing.

I don't want to change.
I want to grow, but not change.
I fear but I know I have control.
I want to be independent but allow myself to learn.

Righteousness. Open minds. Non-conformity.

"emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our mind."