Men changing men.

"Why do men batter women?

Male violence is normal in our society and vast numbers of men are participating. Men better because we have been trained to; because there are a few social sanction against it; because we live in a society where exploitation of people with less social and personal power is acceptable. In a patriarchal society, boys are taught to accept violence as a manly response to real or imagined threats, but they get little training in negotiating intimate relationships. And all too many men believe that they have the right to control or expect certain behavior from "their" women and children; many view difficulties in family relationships as threats to their manhood, and they respond with violence.

...

Hurting girls relieves our anxiety that we may not be tough enough and establishes our heterosexual credentials. Because we are taught that women are primarily sexual objects, this behavior seems perfectly natural. Many men come to believe that a woman is just another material possession. We initiate dates, pay for our time together, protect them on the streets, and often marry them. We are trained to think that in return, girls should show their appreciation by taking care of us emotionally, putting their own concerns and interests aside and putting out sexually.

This unspoken contract is one that many heterosexual males operate by and often leads to the assumption that women are our dumping ground.

... While it is critical that domestic violence cases be taken more seriously by police and the criminal justice system, it is equally important to examine and change underlying social attitudes and practices that promote and excuse domestic violence." --- Men Changing Men by Robert K. Allen and Paul Kivel

My womens studies class has really opened up my eyes to the socially constructed expectations of men and women and how negative, harmful and dangerous they really are. Though I knew that they always existed, I never really knew how our entire world is separated by gender and how our actions are categorized into masculine and feminine and any deviation from it automatically makes you an outsider, or worse, homosexual (as if it is consider the Other). I absolutely HATE that a man who ISN'T aggressive, athletic, doesn't choose to follow societal norms in dress, shows compassion and understanding towards women, etc. etc. is automatically linked to being a homosexual or is referenced to being a girl. I HATE the fact that a girl who wears her hair short is assumed to be lesbian but a man who wears his hair long is NEVER questioned for being feminine, in fact, some women prefer it. I HATE how Asian women are assumed to be docile and subservient and that these qualities are "natural to the oriental female". It's just so frustrating and it kills me on the inside reading all of these things and feeling helpless against the patriarchal society we live in.

So question everything, speak up about what bothers you, always ask why, apply yourself... it's never too late to change the way you see the world and be more conscious about the injustices that have become normal to our daily living. :(