I'm sitting in It's A Grind in San Diego... Littly Italy to be exact. The weather is overcast, the music is soft and I'm in one of my favorite parts of downtown San Diego. Today my pessimism is getting the best of me and I feel like I've spent hours and hours of this day wondering what I could have done better and why things are the way they are. I'm literally mentally fucking exhausted.
All I really want today is to spend it with my brothers and my mom. To hideaway in the comfort of my brothers place on Banker's Hill and not have to deal with people if I don't want to. To not hear the incessant BULLSHIT that means nothing at all to me at the end of the day. To not have to remember all the people I've let into my life only to realize I was ALWAYS better off on my own. To not have to be around people who invite themselves into my own home, wake me up from my sleep to TALK. TALK. and TALK. when they can't hear from my SCREAMS that I NEED you to LEAVE. To not have to hear those carefully chosen words that you throw around as if YOU know who the fuck I am.
I would never let it get there.
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