selfish vs selfless

How much of what we do daily is for our own benefit?

For a long time, I didn't realize what a selfish life I was living. I didn't really get the bigger picture of why we should be doing anything on this earth. All I thought about was myself and what I wanted and what made me happy. Of course all of us have been through struggles in life where all we want to do is just be happy and maybe that leads us to indulge in our worldly desires. Yet living in our own desires, when do we show our appreciation for what we have and give back? Now I wonder, where was my appreciation for everything I had and for the things that REALLY mattered?

I always used to think, "When the time is right", "When I get myself right", "I'm too busy", but really, after just DOING and putting future plans into action TODAY, I slowly began to find my way back to God and I realized the time is always right to get RIGHT with God. and to GIVE YOURSELF to something that NEEDS you. Maybe we fear not being perfect enough, but I always think that if you've had these selfish habits for a long time, you can't expect to change overnight. The blessing is in the journey for me. So in no way am I perfect, nor will I ever be, but the effort is now being AWAKE to the world and what matters.

The more and more I think about the past couple of years, especially in college, I didn't fully grasp yet that the way I live my life is. not. about. me. I am an able person, blessed to be educated and healthy, with all the basic things you need to survive and I should be sharing that blessing to help others instead of continually living a life in which I only benefit. Especially with working with the homeless for the past year and half and being around these people, I always say to myself, "Why the heck would anyone not do this?!". All people really need is for other people to care and if I am a person who has everything I need, am I going to continually live only for myself or for other people so they can get what I have too???

These are daily thoughts that I have and despite my journey just feeling like its begun, I am so glad to be conscious and awake, in every sense of those words. It's not about boasting, making yourself better than anyone, whatever accolades you get, the title you have under your name, it's not even about YOU/ME at all. Nothing should ever be done with YOU in mind and I'm glad I know that now. When you truly care about what you do and who your serving, the rest will come easily.