Unlearning

One thing I love most about my 20′s is the unlearning of so many things I once considered truth. I was listening to a new podcast referred to me by a friend (Another Round with Heben & Tracy --they’re hilarious!) and I resonated with their discussion of unlearning. Maybe it’s the environments we were born in or how small our world view is when we’re younger, but now that I’m going on 27 (holy shit), my understanding of the world has been flipped upside down in many (good) ways.

When you’re younger, I think there are too many things out there fighting for your attention and not enough life experience to help you figure it out. We don’t really KNOW what IS going to happen until it happens right? You have parents, family, society, friends all shaping your idea of the future and you subconsciously make a plan for what life should be like. Truth is, everything changes once that thing that you hypothesize in your brain, actually happens and you’re forced to face REAL LIFE and navigate that world.

 Don’t we all imagine what kind of parent we want to be, until we actually become one and shit gets real? Or don’t we all have our long standing truths about religion and faith until our heart is opened to a whole new way of thinking that makes you question what you thought you knew? Maybe you imagined that you’d never settle down at a certain age and then you find yourself actually settling down because you found love earlier than expected.

 This past weekend, I spent countless wonderful hours catching up with girlfriends and just talking about so many different topics. I have two friends in grad school, one who is pregnant with her first child and me who just bought a house. Our talks spanned from pregnancy, being a woman in the work place, religion, relationships, in-laws, real estate, grad school, everyyything. I loved it because it summed up this time of my life perfectly. It’s full of uncertainty, it’s all over the place, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Thoughts 8.21.14

Sometimes when I think about life and how it often makes us harsh towards one another, I try to remind myself that we're all just trying. We're all just trying to keep it together, to be the best student/girlfriend/worker/daughter/friend/cousin/aunt etc that we can possibly be without letting anyone down. That alone gives me more compassion, towards myself and others.

Ever since Robin Williams passed, it truly made me stop and cherish everyone + everything around me. I really don't know what people are dealing with and people don't know what I'm dealing with, but I know that we're all trying really hard to keep it together.

And then you have moments where life will throw you curveballs that will require you to be tough as nails. I know they will happen and I've dodged quite a few already, but until then, I try to live my life as light as possible & try to surround myself with solid people and try not to let too much get to me.

Life can be so short and we never know what is going to happen next, but we can control our outlook moment to moment. We're lucky enough to have our basic freedoms .. and that alone makes everything feel trivial.

& Sometimes I let the past get to me and it eats me up... but I try to tell myself that life goes on. I wish It wasn't always so heavy but I know there's reason + meaning to everything. All you can control is today and this day forward. I hope we all live it with kindness + compassion. You seriously just never know so I'd rather try really hard to live in light.

YES.

Whoever did this, you are awesome.

A righteous conclusion about easing up on righteousness…

VIA. DANIELLE LAPORTE.

You can never really know the inner workings of someone else's soul, of their journey, of their karma, or of their dharma, of their deepest story.

Maybe they're learning precisely what they need to learn in this lifetime by going after what they're going after.

Maybe what looks meaningless is someone's way of becoming self actualized. 
Maybe what looks advanced and deep is just spiritual glamour with a good IQ. 

The city sanitation worker, the head of her class, the rock star, the mom who makes popsicles, the tantrika, the guy with lots of corporate power, working retail, best seller, multi millionaire, perfect skin, natural athlete, addict, trust fund baby, loser, tycoon, always laughing, eternal student, obese, seductress, wild, repressed, human… Maybe they’re struggling with — and getting closer to — getting free, like most of us are, most of the time.

The guy who does picking & packing at the warehouse and goes home to smoke a fatty on his stoop could be an enlightened Bodhidsatva (in fact, I think I know that guy). That yogini who meditates at dawn and can roll off the Sanskrit foundationals… maybe she is running from the kind of anxiety that's best to face.

That someone whom you wish had their shit together who is talking about the same shit again. You know the one. Well maybe she is going so deep with this lesson that she's burning karma for humankind.

So... in righteous conclusion about easing up on righteousness…

Listen with your soul.
Leave space to wonder.
Do your own thing.

Sunday Inspiration : Jim Carrey

“You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.”

RIP Nelson Mandela

This is so so so beautiful.

Relevant

The Feelings Mutual.

From Pinterest

Quarter life crisis? I wouldn't necessarily call it a crisis, but I definitely have been way more introspective lately. Is this what everyone talks about? As I get older, I've become more observant, less naive, definitely stronger and thinking more about the bigger picture of my life.

It's a weird time being out of college and working a regular 9 to 5. At this age, relationships are only held up through a conscious, deliberate decision and effort to keep them alive. And I'm not just saying romantic, but also family and friend ties. It's so easy to just want to go home after work and not see a single face. It's even easier not to pick up the phone to call or text someone. It has definitely made me think about the true value and meaning of relationships/friendships, and who I value in my life...better yet, what kind of friend I myself am.

Maybe the holidays have made me nostalgic, but now that we're grown, it's a fact that we grow apart. We aren't the same people anymore and circumstances change, but this is definitely the time in life to know who is in it for the long run. To me, it's the little things that count. The little effort that lets me know the feeling's mutual. Just like a relationship, you want to know that the effort you put in is appreciated and reciprocated, otherwise, why stay in it?

Who do you want to surround yourself with? How do these people make you feel? -- definitely questions I ask myself. I guess as I get older, these questions appear more and more in my heart & mind because time is of the essence. If you're spending it with people who don't fulfill you, where else could you be spending that time?

Food for thought.

Pharrell Williams x Fast Company

I recently read Fast Company's interview with Pharrell Williams. Besides the fact that at 40 years old, this man is STILL incredibly handsome (that's a given), his body of work truly makes his spirit electric compared to others in the industry. This interview was full of great insights to what it's like working for Pharrell, his visions and what he believes in.

Favorite quotes from the interview.

• He surrounds himself with people who "recognize that they are different, and they're unafraid of that and don't mind shaking hands with the next different person. Most anything I do I do because it involves someone I can learn from," he adds. "Sometimes you just gotta put your pride aside and be quiet so that you can absorb not only what a person is saying but how they are saying it--their energy, their body language. It's all for a reason."
• "Women have always been my motivation, and equality is quite naturally a theme for me. So it's all estrogen: estrogenic--I'm going to create a term--intelligence. I wouldn't trade it for anything, and everyone works way, way, way harder than me."
• When you envisage success, you should see all the people you work with, in addition to yourself. When I look at that picture, I see giant angels who are much smarter than me, who can oversee the things that I don't know shit about. I used to hire 21-year-old monsters with a twinkle in their eye," he adds. "I saw potential, but it was what I thought they could do, not what they could actually do. But you know what happens when you surround yourself with people with experience, who've seen everything a million times? A lot of them are gonna be older than you. When they vet people, they need to see more than twinkles; they need sparks."
• "He has every right to an inflated ego, but he's extra humble," says Tyson Toussant, cofounder of Bionic Yarn.
• "The school system isn't spending a lot of time looking for specific potential. We are bred to be worker bees; to grow up, get married, have a kid, drive a Volvo, do our taxes, invest in something, find a hobby,"
• For Williams, there is always judgment and choice. "Existence is all mathematics, and I see it as me listening to the math that is right in front of me. There's a key for every door," he adds, "and if you can't find it, you can make one. That's always an option."

In the midst of all this Kanye fanfare and tantrums about the fashion industry not giving him a chance, he can definitely take a few pointers from Mr. Williams.

Pharrell is quietly and consistently living out Kanye’s career aspirations. Fashion, music, curating, Pharrell effortlessly does them all. Pharrell does everything Kanye says they will not allow him to do. Pharrell lets his art speak. No antics, great art and a savvy business strategy - Christiana Mbakwe