LOVE, REGRETS, & ACCEPTANCE.

So I understand that my blog has been an outlet for my man-bashing, which may turn some of my male readers off. In fact, I was just about to post another man-hating quote by the lovely Erykah Badu but opted not to. Maybe it wasn't necessarily man-hating but it definitely would have shit on anyone from my past who thinks that it was about them and whoever they happen to be seeing of the moment. Today, I just don't want to go there anymore.

I ask myself who do we do things like that? Why do we need to put it out there that we're doing fine? For some of us I feel like it's a good reminder to ourselves of how we've overcome and where we are now. It's nice to be reminded of the shit you've been through and give yourself a pat on the back for how far you've come. For others, maybe its a subliminal reminder to ourselves, that even if we aren't over it, at least we know we never want it again. It can even be a combination of both.

I guess today was different because I come to realize that the more and more I allow my energy and even my slightest attention to go back to the past, I am giving up my control of it. I am allowing that situation to control my actions in this present state... and who wants that?! No one. In trying to be more conscious about my decisions, I don't want to be wrapped up in things that have hurt me. Not anymore!

Which brings me to my thoughts on regrets and if I regret any hardship I've put myself through. After thinking a lot about it, I am beginning to truly accept the fact that I don't have any regrets. Pretty bold statement I guess but I've come to believe that at that moment, it was what I truly wanted, and who I was at that moment no longer exists. Therefore, because I'm not that person anymore, any regrets I might have had are left with that person, in the past. Dead.

I'm a stronger believer in constantly evolving and adapting to the world around me and for me to have regrets is to still be holding on to the person that I was... and I'm no longer that person. When I think of my past mistakes and shortcomings that I may want to still change, I remember that at that time, I probably didn't know better and had to have experience that wrong moment to evolve into the person I am right now. We've all had those moments, whether you're blinded by love, young and incredibly naive to the situation...it's all human, it's raw, it's real emotion that you really truly believe in the moment... and that's okay, as long as you choose to grow from it.

So back to relationships... I shouldn't be angry or resentful about what happened. It took two people to fuel that fire and in that moment, I really thought that he was what was right for me. I just didn't know any better and that's okay...because at least I know I've grown from that situation. He was someone I loved a lot, but to move forward, I think peace is so necessary. Peace in your heart about it and acceptance of e v e r y t h i n g. No hard feelings and no regrets. It was exactly what I wanted and I wouldn't be the person I am today without it. We have THEM to thank for THIS.